Sunday at 5pm

The reprieve is nearly over. Like social workers across the land, probably, I am realizing that Monday and the working week are looming! I feel daunted at what lies ahead, going back on Duty, with no write ups done on the 3 CP investigations I began last week. But when was I going to do them? I worked till after 7pm on both Thursday and Friday. I was tired out by Friday night.

And now I am a bit worried. Will I remember well enough to do the recording properly? Did I take enough notes? Which police officer was with which case?  The memories are there, some notes are there, but once again not having time to record the work within the working day is so annoying. I don't see why there isn't a structuring of work time so that we work more of a shift pattern, like the police. Beginning later, finishing later when it is so likely that we will start a CP enquiry in the late afternoon.

I thought about doing some of it at home yesterday, or today, but really I need time to relax and recover. I am paid to work 37 hours per week, and not to sit for hours at the weekend writing case notes!. I know people do, and perhaps I will have to as well, but I feel very resistant. I want to enjoy free time and it's important to be able to switch off.

My partner and I were discussing this whole situation and I mentioned that many social workers (25%) have second jobs, as recently reported here.  He was amazed, as was I. How on earth do they do it for one thing? I suspect it might be more adult sector social workers.  I was hoping to do some extra work, assessment of Foster Carers, but it's just totally out of the question!  As it is, I need the full weekend to have any chance of recovery. Such an exciting life that I lead...

The week-end looked like this: 

I come home on Friday night about 8.15pm, switch on the TV and relax. On Satuday I write my blog in the morning,   as I woke at 6.30 any way. I also relax in the garden, and watch TV in the evening. Today I thought of going out, but the thought of any traveling or having to get anywhere on time is so much like work. that I can't bear it!..Instead,  I did some "serious" reading in bed in the morning and enjoyed the sunshine in the garden in the afternoon,  when I admit I was chivvied outside by my partner!

This is quite typical.At the weekend I don't arrange social events, I don't talk much to neglected friends or family.  So I am not spending any money, incidentally. If I am at all typical of stressed out public sector workers, overworking us is probably not so good for the economy, never mind family or community life.
 I live like a hermit to compensate and recover. It saves time and  money. So I do very little business in the local shops, or any shops for that matter, except for essentials.

In fact I haven't even gone shopping for some warmer clothes, an extra pair of shoes, or had my hair cut. All of which I could do with. Colleagues must already be quite tired seeing me recycle my 3 or 4 work outfits..If they have time to notice, which is doubtful. So if the economy is depending on me, its prospects are definitely even more dire than people think! 

What a difference to  life years ago! A weekend would not have been complete without a dinner party or a social event of some sort. Saturday afternoon shopping was a ritual. Nowadays a trip to the cinema or a meal out would be a major event!  Of course some of it is to do with my age and personal preference.   But do my colleagues have the time, energy or money to do "normal" things at the week end, like having fun with their families? It's very hard to imagine.

About this particular  weekend.... it has all been with a niggle of guilt!  I should have got recording done. Imagine having another job....not even to have a whole two days recovery time!....my current job is more than full time already. Imagine feeling guilty that I have not done work at home this weekend! And not just guilty, but anxious about when and how I am going to do it.

The possible repercussions cross my mind. What if something happens to one of those children and I haven't recorded what I did and why I did it?  Not that I think anything bad will happen, as I was satisfied that the risk to the children was quite low. But I can imagine times when the risk might have been higher.  This is one reason why people do work till 10pm and carry a constant  anxiety. 
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But I know myself and my limits! I know how exhausted I will become if I don't rest, body and soul, at the weekend.So mostly I let go of the anxiety and enjoyed my free time. Now as the evening approaches, work does loom, but I feel able to cope because I have rested.
But exhausted people don't rest, they don't think straight, and they make mistakes. I'd rather be rested, refreshed and able to make sensible decisions, than have everything recorded to a T and be too tired to think straight. It isn't just a practical matter though. It's a question of whether I have the right to a life outside work, or not? I happen to think I do. It's a basic human right, surely. Enough free time to reconnect  with the the joy of being,  a human being, not a human robot.