Definitely not all right Jack!

Shit hitting fan today.  Too much to do. Results: so late for an appointment that I had to abandon it. getting on bus to wrong address. Retracing steps, not knowing what to do, stand about futilely for a while. Give up and go home and beat myself up. No phone numbers on me to phone either client. Deadline tomorrow on one of them. Should I just make it all up, I went, I saw, I conquered and I did the damn reports before the deadlines!
Of course I would not do that, too afraid of getting caught for one thing. But how annoying to be so controlled by deadly deadlines.
And thought I didn't have notes from yesterday at home with me, so thought I couldn't write up report from yesterday.... I had them all the time, just not accessible.
Two more little conversations, my friend R. is angry, feels she is being abused by the work.  X is "over my head" with work, and even MJ says she is struggling. I was close to speaking up in the Team Meeting. Young colleagus S. says, we get cut down for speaking up, or they say they'll do something and don't. It must be a "health and safety" issue...
So, instead of writing up a report, I filled in another job application and also contacted fostering agency. I am almost ready to launch out again into the unknown. Life is too short to be nothing but a human info. robot. And I don't enjoy telling people what to do. I must get out of statutory social work before I lose the will to live entirely!

A poem for the month and entirely in tune with this bleak mood, especially going on  a visit to a bleak housing estate on a cold, dark, wet November evening:

November

by Thomas Hood

No sun--no moon!
No morn--no noon!
No dawn--no dusk--no proper time of day--
No sky--no earthly view--
No distance looking blue--

No road--no street--
No "t'other side the way"--
No end to any Row--
No indications where the Crescents go--

No top to any steeple--
No recognitions of familiar people--
No courtesies for showing 'em--
No knowing 'em!

No mail--no post--
No news from any foreign coast--
No park--no ring--no afternoon gentility--
No company--no nobility--

No warmth, no cheerfulness, no healthful ease,
No comfortable feel in any member--
No shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees,
No fruits, no flowers, no leaves, no birds,
November!