Saturday Sanity

The last post was written at one of my lowest points and I might end up deleting it.  It came about purely through tiredness and trying to do too much. Two visits in a day is enough. It does not sound like much, but these are intensely demanding visits, quite often to clients who are angry, puzzled and resistant. It takes an emotional toll and there has to be recovery time. Otherwise I will become overwhelmed, confused and arrive at clients' homes with a mind full of information which I have not had a chance to process as the system requires.
I have just about  decided that it is not possible to maintain a normal work life balance and do this job. There is so much writing up to do and so little time to do it, with all the other tasks that have to be done in terms of contacting other professionals, making referrals, sending out letters, uploading correspondence.....these take all my time. Actually writing up the assessments is not difficult, if I don't leave it for a week after the visit.
So this weekend I am going to do some work at home. And if the TV is on in the background, never mind!  Then I can copy and paste at the office, amidst the hubbub, and do "bitty" work, admin and phone calls at the office. At least at home I have peace and quiet, and pleasant surroundings.
I will keep track though, of just how many hours I am doing this for, and it is an adjustment I've resisted as it is an erosion of free time. But it is pointless having free time in which I get worried and stressed just remembering all that I have to do.
I had supervision yesterday and I do like my manager, which helps. I think if he knows I am trying, he will be as kind as he can about piling on the pressure. But as he says, he is not in charge of allocation to his team. It just continues.....though he can say, not to this worker this week, perhaps!  He said the culture of the LA is not to try to keep people or move them round if they aren't happy. He also advised going on training.
So yesterday I got up in the early hours and drafted a closing letter about a case.....on of my first, and I had not given information about resources quickly. That is the other thing, do that, do referrals, as part of the assessment, don't wait for assessment to be approved because then the energy goes out of it. It's all about striking while the iron is hot, and getting it closed!
Being in the moment, I suppose. Knowing what resources are around in the LA....all of which does take time.
But perhaps if I can work in a slightly different way, while I am getting used to the systems, the printer, being paperless etc, it will be not quite so intolerable. After all, this is my precious life and I don't want to waste it complaining and resenting things that just are. And in the meantime, I downloaded an application form for another job.....  Looking for a "spiritual" slant here, I came across this quote in connection with the underlying theme of spirituality and my life as a social worker:

"Spiritual resilience is not being hardened to the point where you ignore or deny circumstance. But using your most challenging life experiences, like the akido warrior who uses humor and flexibility, to respond and–if necessary–remake yourself."   
Find the original
here

“What’s really important in life? Sitting on a beach? Looking at television eight hours a day? I think we have to appreciate that we’re alive for only a limited period of time, and we’ll spend most of our lives working.

That being the case, I believe one of the most important priorities is to do whatever we do as well as we can. We should take pride in that.”

~Victor Kiam