Sunday Extra

"My only advice......is to merely accept where you are. Granted, its not ideal, but accept it and surrender to it. Realize this is where you are. It may not be what you want long term, but by focusing on the future and what you want changed, you actually make your present moment worse. So stop, look at where you are, know it won't last forever, and accept it. Find the beauty in it. Find how much it means to help your family for instance. Find how much it means to be healthy and happy and not one of those dependent and unable to help themselves.

The more you appreciate where you are, the more quickly you can change your circumstances.

Remember...that which you resist, persists."

This is a quote from a site I belong to online....inspired by a spiritual teacher called Mike Dooley.  I have belonged to it for a long time, but hardly ever look into. I "dropped in" in a casual way, on my way to writing here again. It's 4.39 am and I woke up with thoughts of work, and life....so time to write again.  

Yesterday I emailed a good friend about my decision to do some work at home. She responded that it was a good decision and commented..."what we resist, persists." I felt that kind of "ouch" of recognition. I certainly have resisted the idea of working at home and also much of the job, I resist!  

So  when I came across the same quote on this web forum I knew, yes, it's important to explore this. No coincidence here! This is my personal journey, and social work is the "work" bit of my reality. It's true I've had a lot of grumbles and complaints but the thing is, it's not just work, it's life. And I was conscious this week of how being angry may feel empowering in the short term, but how does it affect others? And how does it square with my values and aspirations?


So as it's a Sunday, I want to write about spirituality and life and social work. Yes, I think there are issues about how the job is organized now. I think that it is quite a crazy system. But it is also true that it is what it is and it is likely to be the same for some time. I am in no different a situation than many people who find themselves today doing work they'd rather not, for less than adequate pay. The details may be different but that's the nub of it. 


No different to the person stuck in a loveless marriage, or in a burdensome caring role, or with a physical disability......or with debts.....the stuck, burdensome situation looks different for each person but it has that characteristic of seeming unchangeable and relentless. 


I have a situation where, to keep up with my not very inspiring work, it makes sense to do more of it, in my "free" time, in order to stay on top of recording and producing assessments. Either I do that, or I spend time and energy feeling anxious, worried and trying to remember details from days ago.  Until now, I have resisted this aspect of my job. 


Yesterday, I did some of that dreaded extra work. It was not so bad, from 4.30pm to 8 and then another 20 mins during ad breaks to finish off whilst my favourite TV show was on.  And now, the bones of a weeks work are more or less written up. 


I was grateful to my friend for what she wrote. I have been an intense spiritual seeker all my life, and finding myself in the one situation which I did not want (back in statutory social work) is a huge challenge to my faith. I have had the idea that my life would change radically, outwardly, and I would escape the drudgery of the job...again.  And start my real life, where I could show what a truly wonderful spiritual being I am. 


But the truth is, I need to live now in a way that expresses who I really am. I've been aware that the anger and resentment that I feel have an impact at work. They affect my colleagues and clients too.  They don't see the inside, the "why" of what I feel, they see, and sense, an energy of anger and negativity. 


I still feel it a dilemma though. If I let go of the resentment and be in harmony with what is.....does that not let "the system" off the hook?  And if I can be joyful in the job, doesn't that mean that it's OK for everyone? 


There is a spiritual law here, "what you resist, persists." After all, Viktor Frankl was in a concentration camp but chose to "say yes to life."  It is easy to say yes when life hands us the bowl of cherries. But perhaps life will hand only the lemons....lemons of long working hours, open plan offices,  pressing deadlines.....all the things I've struggled with. Can I accept this lemons and in some way transform them?  Allow them to be what they are and yet transform them into something beautiful? 


Some time ago, I gave a talk on moving from Trauma to Triumph in life. I said to my manager this week, it's been traumatic. And it has. Trauma is fundamentally about separation. I think I have fully experienced that stage. Now it's time to move on. I have said it how it is.....I know that the acceptance is vital and means I can begin to be kind to myself and remember, there is a journey from Trauma to Triumph, no matter what the circumstances.


So yesterday I went shopping and bought a project book, in which I can organize each case, with its own to do list. A small step of acceptance. This is what I need to do for myself to be on top of the job. I wrote case notes at home, in a relaxed way....a step of acceptance. And I accept the need to do the job without complaining to colleagues in the office. It does none of us good, when I complain.

It feels good to have reconnected with the spiritual side of life in a way that includes the job! Remembering that my life, my particular life, is about being joyful, no matter what.  Joy that is based on the fundamental goodness of reality, no matter how it appears.  I have the opportunity to do that in the challenging world of social work. Maybe it is even a blessing. And what I resist, will persist!